The key to a successful business is a sociopathic streak

Posted in I Ramble You Decide with tags , , , , , , , , on May 21, 2012 by mickgirk

It’s with great resignation that I have determined that I can never make millions of dollars in the world of business. It’s a disappointing self-discovery.

Well, not that disappointing. As it turns out, in order to run a mega-zillion dollar company, you probably have to be what the practice of psychology calls a “sociopath.” This is probably not news to anyone, but thanks to the internet, more proof of this assertion is available than ever before.

Let us start “small”. This is an article I read a few days ago, detailing the business practice of online scams.

On a semi-related tangent, this is the text of an email I used to get from a “Fred Duff,” offering me an interview for a position in “professional corporate sales” with one Lionheart Assurance Solutions despite the fact that I have absolutely NO experience in sales whatsoever (brackets added to prevent stalkage of me):

Dear [McGirk],

We have reviewed your resume on and may have an interest in scheduling you for an interview. Please take a moment to answer a brief questionnaire (at the link below) that will further assist us in determining if a preliminary match exists between your qualification profile and our goals for this position.

Although this position does not require a daily commute to our offices, initial interviews will be conducted at our [fill in city here] Regional Office on Tuesday, May 10th, 2011. There is no guarantee that you will be selected for an interview. If you are selected for an initial interview and are then invited to continue on in our selection process, subsequent interviews (after the first interview) will primarily be conducted by telephone.

PLEASE NOTE:  We are contacting you because our review of your resume indicates a potential fit for professional corporate sales. If you feel we have contacted you in error, there is no reason for you to complete the compatibility profile below. Please simply scroll to the bottom of this email and click the opt-out link to be permanently removed from further consideration.

Visit the secure link below for our online compatibility questionnaire:

Who We Are Looking For

Qualified candidates must possess excellent interpersonal communications skills, and a level of professionalism suitable for dealing with senior level executives and business owners. Public speaking skills appropriate for presenting to groups of 10 to 40 employees at a time are a plus.

Ideal candidates have an uncommon combination of attributes. They are self-motivated, entrepreneurial individuals who are ready to leave behind the constraints of the traditional corporate job model and build a secure future of their own for themselves and their families. At the same time, they are highly coachable team players who are willing to follow a proven training and support system designed to help them achieve their goals.

Lionheart Agents comprise an elite national team of highly trained corporate sales executives with the opportunity to earn a substantial short-term income while building a fully vested, long-term residual income marketing our unique plans as employee benefits and as valuable tools for business owners.

About Us

With offices around the country, Lionheart Assurance Solutions, LP specializes in providing employers of all sizes with cutting edge employee benefits specifically designed for identity theft restoration and access to the legal system.

Our mission is to help employers by addressing two timely needs in the marketplace; identity theft and affordable access to legal counsel. Identity theft has become the fastest growing crime in the US, with over 27,000 new victims daily. reports that over 255 million Americans have reported their identities lost or stolen since January, 2005. The vast majority of identity theft issues end up in legal problems.

Roughly 80 percent of the public is locked out of the legal system due to cost. According to the National Resource Center for Consumers of Legal Services, “Even law abiding Americans will encounter a potential legal situation an average of four to six times per year.” Employees who have problems off the job, bring those problems with them on the job. This costs the employer in lost productivity, which impacts their bottom line. The unique employee benefit plans we provide enhance worker productivity by helping employees keep their focus on their work instead of on personal problems.

For small to medium-sized clients, we also offer a full range of plans that help small businesses to “level the playing field” by providing access to the kinds of legal and consultative advice that typically only a large corporation can afford.

All additional details will be discussed at the interview, if one is scheduled.

Thank you in advance,

Fred Duff, Area Vice President
Lionheart Assurance Solutions, LP
[Blah-blah-bloop-bloop] Regional Office

Lionheart Assurance Solutions, LP Corporate Office  |  1600 Lake Air Drive  |  Waco  |  TX  |  76710  |  (855) LIONHEART (546-6432)

What’s the point of sharing this? One, I think the above is amusing. Two, this is low-level sociopathy, as in the defect is strong in this one, even if the business acumen is low.

Let us continue:

Do you remember when the now-charitable Bill Gates spent the 90’s being evil?

No, not because of this.

Here’s a nice quote for you:

“Microsoft has had clear competitors in the past. It’s a good thing we have museums to document that.” Bill Gates, 2001

Here’s Wikipedia’s take on Microsoft’s legal troubles in the 90’s. Basically, the moral of the Microsoft story is, aggressively destroy your competition, and then cry innocence when lawsuits inevitably take place. Pay back your assholisism with massive doses of philanthropy later.

From here, the next logical step is mentioning Steve Jobs. But we all know that Steve Jobs was a ruthless bastard leading up to his untimely demise, so… yeah.

I’d rather bring up the most recent iteration of successful sociopaths, none other than Mark Zuckerberg.

The face of a business tyrant? Consider this, floating around the internet today.

OK, maybe he’s just an asshole, a young one in above article . But this is what convinced me of the accuracy of this post’s title, as Mr. Zuckerberg isn’t the nice affable genius portrayed by the media. No, Marky Mark displays a bit of a sociopathic streak, which manifests itself in the business practices of Facebook.

Hey, at least he’s not Stalin:

– McGirk


The lack of inspiration is the real killer

Posted in watching videos on the internet is fun with tags , , on May 19, 2012 by mickgirk

Ok, ok, for the five of you that read (my favorite group of five people ever,) I’m sorry about the lack of updates. Simply put, there hasn’t been much I want to write about, even though there is still an excessive amount of nonsense taking place that I should care about.

In the spirit of not being a quitting fucking loser, I’m bringing this blog back to constant updating. I’ll be spamming my own Facebook with posts as well. Defriend me now if that sounds like an idea that sucks and you don’t want to see this in your newsfeed every day.

Hopefully I’ll have enough inspiration to pull a Jesus-style resurrection of this blog.

Until then, did you know that Star Trek is more punk rock than you?

So the makers of a hokey movie about saving the whales wrote a better punk rock song  than you could.

I know you’ve watched this movie at least once. You know what scene this is. If you don’t, go away.

What would be better, though, is if they used this song instead:

Thanks. I’m done.


Do people really believe this?

Posted in Quit It with tags , , on May 7, 2012 by mickgirk

Do they? For real?

Wayne Gary, Richardson, Tx:

“HISTORY IS REPEATING ITSELF! Ted Nugent has been harassed, bullied, intimidated and persecuted because he is outspoken about the Obama regime! During the Nazi’s reign of terror those who were the most outspoken were also tortured, raped and executed “legally.” Are you scared? You should be! First the Antichrist’s will come for Ted and other noble, honorable and courageous men and women, and then they will come for you unless you are willing to accept the mark of Obama/Satan, and give your total allegiance to him! And what will that do for you? But maybe provide you some time, minor temporary comfort, and an eternity of weeping and gnashing of teeth unless you repent. Don’t ever forget, you may befriend Satan/Obama, but he hates you with every fiber in his being, and when he is done using you, he will take you out without mercy and extreme prejudice. Note: Hitler committed suicide. When the Russians stormed into Germany, they brutally raped 2 million German women. 1 in 10 of those women committed suicide. No doubt many of those women once gleefully cheered/chanted “heil Hilter” with such enthusiasm and vigor, the same way many chanted “yes we can” in 2008 for Barak Hussein Obama. After the German women gave their total allegiance to Hitler, what did he do for them in their time of extreme need? What could he do for them? Nothing! And what will your Mein Fuhrer Obama do for you in your time of need when the days and nights turn black with unspeakable misery and suffering? Nothing! Obamaities; don’t confuse this time of “Obama money” for a time in the near future when you are digging holes in the ground for grub worm meals!”

Protip: Peruse the Patriot Action Network if you want to see some of the really stupid/scary shit people type. A cursory visit shows that they keep the insanity off of their front page now, but it’s unbelievable, and still there.

– McGirk

Today, we view hockey fights.

Posted in watching videos on the internet is fun with tags , , on April 28, 2012 by mickgirk

Just in case you didn’t know, the NHL playoffs are in full swing (LETS GO CAPS!) If you’ve watched any of the games of the first round, you might have noticed that the refs are doing a terrible job calling penalties fairly. You might have also noticed that everyone is, for the most part, beating the shit out of one another.

It is in the spirit of this that I, McGirk, have compiled the best hockey fights I can find on YouTube into one convenient blog post. Really, this serves more as an excuse to watch an excessive amount of violence, but damn it, it’s hockey. Where else will you find millionaires who refuse to fix their busted grilles? Exhibit A, the Cap’s own Alexander Ovechkin:

Speaking of the Caps, did you know Alexander Semin is an awful fighter?

Next time, leave it to Jason Chimera:

Here’s a fun amount of ridiculousness. including a goalie fight:

Suck it Boston. Speaking of teams that suck, it’s always fun to watch the Pens to get the shit kicked out of them. Especially by a team like the Islanders:

Let’s give in to your lurid curiosity. Here’s a compilation of some sweet knockouts:

There’s a whole YouTube channel dedicated to this. If you need a reason to kill some time, it should do the trick.


P.S This has nothing to do with hockey, but here’s Kimbo Slice beating some scrub up:

And here’s Kimbo Slice getting knocked out in 14 seconds:

Why? Because this is my blog, suckas.

Choice selections of art from John Baizely

Posted in heavy noises with tags , , , , on April 24, 2012 by mickgirk

If you listen to heavy music and don’t know who John Baizely is, you need to get edumacated. Here’s an idea, drop your Metallica records and start listening to Baroness, for starters. Here, I even found something cool you might not have heard, even you do like Baroness. Thank me later:

Ok, you’ve listened to all of that? Great. Now, if you have paid any attention to metal album artwork, you may have noticed that a lot of it, while looking totally cool, looks awfully similar. That’s because it’s all done by Mr. Baizely. Feast your eyes:

Pig Destroyer- Phantom Limb

Baroness- Red Album

Baroness- Blue Record

Darkest Hour- Deliver Us

Kvelertak- s/t

Black Tusk- Taste The Sin

Word. Check out his full portfolio here. Baroness has a new record dropping this summer, perhaps you should check that out too.


Getting your political discourse from YouTube is infuriating

Posted in I Ramble You Decide, watching videos on the internet is fun with tags , , , , on April 21, 2012 by mickgirk

 Hey! Guess what really grinds my gears?

If you guessed “reading comments on political videos on YouTube,” you are absolutely right. I award you nothing.

Seriously though, in between reading nonsense on YouTube and arguing nonsense on other sites that I once thought were immune to the spread of dumb, I now have a clearer picture about how far and wide stupid hath spread today. Like, wow dude.

Let’s get angry together:

This is a video about reporters at FOX affiliate in Florida being stonewalled after putting together a story that reveals the health risks behind a growth hormone used in cows to produce more milk. According to the story, corporate giant Monsanto pushed the hormone through the FDA, pretty much buying everyone off so they could use this hormone on their livestock. After the story was completed, FOX’s corporate offices, under pressure from Monsanto’s lawyers, prevented the story from ever making it to air.

This video is on the frontpage of Reddit this morning, although it’s been making the rounds for some time now. The video accuses FOX of pressuring the reporters into amending their story so it doesn’t implicate Monsanto in such a harsh fashion, as well as bribing them to cease work on the story entirely. I question some aspects of said video: The video does a lot to make the viewer think that this story would be shown on FNC, the 24/7 cable news network, not WTVT, a FOX affiliate in Tampa Bay. Furthermore, even if the affiliate is directly owned by one Rupert Murdoch, does Monsanto’s threats of pulling advertising only qualify for WTVT, or News Corp. as a whole? I wonder…

Meanwhile, here’s some of the deep thoughts other YouTube users articulated:

“the closet communists commenting on this video make me sick, i wish we still had McCarthyism in the united states” –10krnr

“Monsanto = sionist company” – DailionDos

This video is fairly tame when it comes to rampant idiocy in the comment section. Let’s examine some others.

It’s common knowledge that the internet is the breeding ground for Ron Paul supporters. If you take their claims at face value, Ron Paul is actually beating Mitt Romney in the delegate count for the 2012 GOP race, or at least has a shot to. To be fair, even the Guardian has reported this. It’s pretty clear that Ron Paul is winning the battle for hearts and minds online (even though he’s a Nazi,) but doing so causes a lot of feathers to be ruffled. Just look to YouTube to see how –

“Bill O’Reilly is an American hero. Ron Paul is a terrorist.” – ju88ff

“Bill is a greasy faggot that felches his boyfriend Mitt Romney.Shoot the fucker!!!” – Warmachine05450

That’s nice.

So yeah, I get it, people are trolls, for the lulz, lolol, whatever. People also have the freedom to express themselves however they see fit. But IF there is a conspiracy to control the thoughts of the public at large, and turn us all into drooling idiots who only eat FrankenFoods and will follow our politicans off of ledges, then rhetoric like this on public websites like YouTube doesn’t help the public in not being figuratively enslaved.

Think before you type, assholes.


Terrible movies about giant sharks.

Posted in watching videos on the internet is fun with tags on April 20, 2012 by mickgirk

That’s just the sort of tangent I’ve ended up on this morning.

Some of these may or may not be real movies:

“That’s one big-ass shark.” – John Schneider

– McGirk