Archive for February, 2012

How to dance to Meshuggah

Posted in heavy noises, watching videos on the internet is fun with tags , , on February 29, 2012 by mickgirk

There is a way. If Meshuggah plays in my general vicinity whilst touring for Koloss I will be sure to bring these moves with me:

By the way, did you know that Meshuggah made a movie trailer for their new record? You can hear some cool sections off of the new record, but what the hell is with the “COMING SOON” “IN 2012” stuff? What is this, Paranormal Activity 4? Dudes, don’t be lame.

Koloss comes out March 26th here in Amurricka. Get stoked.



Weird social networks that actually exist

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on February 28, 2012 by mickgirk

Is using Facebook bumming you out, because all you see on your newsfeed are stupid pictures of cats, religious rants, or horrible retellings of sloppy drunk evenings that are only interesting to the person that lived it? Not to worry, the internet is here to alleviate your social networking woes. Be bored no more, friends.

Here’s are some lesser-known sites for you to network on:

1) JuggaloBook

Featured on MetalSucks recently, JuggaloBook allows you to whoop whoop with your homies on the interwebs. It looks like this:

Fuck a timeline, son, get down with your inner clown.

2) Date Edge 

Tired of using Facebook only to find out everyone you want to engage in relations with is a sloppy drunk? Want to maintain edge and listen to Champion records with that special someone? Date Edge is exactly what it sounds like and is probably for you. It seems kind of exclusive, though, so hopefully you’re more edge than everyone else.

3) Stache Passions

Do you want to have legendary facial hair like this guy?

Then you should get off of the internet and comb your beard dude. But if that’s not in the cards, visit Stache Passions and talk to other people that are supremely interested in their physical appearance. To be fair, crazy facial hair is, in fact, totally rad.

4) VampireFreaks

Yeah, this is old news. In fact, this is on the list because I’m more surprised that this still exists. But if Bebo is still around, why not VampireFreaks?

Unfortunately for them, I think they have a bad rap for kids who like to muder things liking their site.

But let’s be fair. Most murderers who use the internet are on Facebook or Twitter. Suck on that.

But yeah, that one person you know that says that they like BDSM and still live at their parent’s house even as they creep up on 30 years old? Probably on this site.

5) MySpace



Ok, I’m bored of this post. You get the idea. There’s a community for everything, so go enjoy being a unique snowflake in some recess of the internet, where no one will find you until you resurface years later. Thank you and good day.


WikiLeaks publishes email dump, will anyone care?

Posted in Newz with tags , , on February 27, 2012 by mickgirk

So today, WikiLeaks is back in action, and they are in the process of publishing more than 5 million internal emails from Texas-based global intelligence company Stratfor.

According to a press release from WikiLeaks, the dump will show “how a private intelligence agency works, and how they target individuals for their corporate and government clients.” They claim that after a careful search through the contents of the emails, corporate corruption and manipulation of key parties globally will be exposed and impossible to ignore.

Will that be the case, though? Looking at reactions online, reception of the dump seems to be a mix between an optimism that this dump will reveal something juicy (although no one is quite sure what, guesses on Business Insider range from something to do with oil in Iran to the crashing of the Japanese Yen.

Actually, one poster, Mikent, had something to say that caught my eye:

“Ever since they put Julian Assange on ice last year, I’ve wondered what really  happened. When Wikileaks exposed the Defense Department’s Iraq helicopter attack  video, and followed with the release of secret State Department cables, nothing  happened to Assange or his organization. But as soon as Wikileaks previewed a  Bank of America confidential email release, which Assange himself said would put  people at the top in prison, all Hell broke loose. Assange was suddenly a Most  Wanted Man by Interpol. The Swedes suddenly wanted him extradited from England  for sex charges. He was placed under house arrest at a rural manor house, exiled  and basically cut off from Wikileaks and society in general. A smear campaign  was waged by the press upon his character. And didn’t his second in command at  Wikileaks announce that he had destroyed the BOA emails ? It all reads like a  Robert Ludlum novel. I guess my question is, is Assange involved in this  ‘release’, or is it coming from a reconstituted Wikileaks, in which case I smell  mis – dis – information.”

I don’t think that is a bad guess at all. I’ll be watching this story, and we’ll see if anything juicy comes out of this, or if this leak is about as effectual as the Bank of America leak (meaning, not at all.)


1992 Documentary – Dream Deceivers – The Story Behind James Vance Vs. Judas Priest

Posted in heavy noises, watching videos on the internet is fun with tags , , , on February 26, 2012 by mickgirk

This is a well-done PBS documentary from the early-90’s, focusing on the story of the two kids (James Vance and Raymond Belknap) who were big fans of seminal metal band Judas Priest. Two days before Christmas 1985, the two acted on a suicide pact between them, using a host of substances and going out to a playground to shoot themselves in the face with a 12-gauge shotgun. Raymond Belknap died, but James Vance lived through the blast. Afterwards, it was claimed that Judas Priest influenced the two to commit such an extreme action, and the band was put on trial to defend their music.

Look, I know you know the story. I’m posting this because I’ve always seen screenshots from this doc, but never watched in full. What struck me is how little things have changed since this was released in 1992. This movie depicts a puritanical America that is not only terrified of metal bands like Priest, but is unwilling to accept responsibility for the failings of their own Christ-centered community to reach kids like Vance and Belknap. It’s a story that has not only played itself out before in American culture, but it has been repeated ad nauseum since the events of this doc. Remember the West Memphis 3? How about the events of Columbine in 1999?

But how about now? The YouTube description of this video says “Twenty years on the court case itself may seem absurd and yet the Christian fundamentalists are as powerful as ever and a new “moral panic” is just as likely now as it was twenty-odd years ago.”


When watching this, I can’t help but feel badly for them. These people are not perfect, and they lose their sons to suicide, which is a horrible thing. That is not lost in this movie.

That said, it is also clear that these people don’t necessarily want to acknowledge their mistakes. Vance’s mother, in particular, is practically refusing to acknowledge that her son chose to shoot himself because of his dissatisfaction with life, instead choosing to blame heavy metal culture for his injury- and subsequent death years later. Denial is a coping mechanism, but at the same time, this kind of denial should be put into perspective by society, instead of exploited for media glitz. I don’t think that problem has gone anywhere either. In fact, I think it may be worse in 2012 than in 1992.


So if you’ve got an hour, check this doc out. See what you think.


Maybe I spoke too soon…

Posted in heavy noises, Newz with tags , , , , , , on February 25, 2012 by mickgirk

As all five of you might recall, I really want to do a documentary about Limp Bizkit. It is my life’s work. I talked to the same god that Rick Santorum talks to, and that’s what he told me to do. So there.

But alas, I believe my timing is off of the mark. Considering that Limp Bizkit just signed with Cash Money Records.

Yeah, this Cash Money Records:

Just kidding. It’s this one:

So um, how’s that going work? Probably a little better than one might imagine, as I seem to recall that Lil Wayne likes the rock music these days. So at least they might have some fun together, and really, who can really begrudge that? I play in a shitty punk rock band, no one’s paying me to have fun writing terrible songs. So congrats to Limp Bizkit, now there’s an extra chapter to my inevitable documentary and this pairing will probably give me and every other metal blogger (I’m looking right at you MetalSucks) material for months to come.

So look for more of this, except it won’t be Method Man making something out of nothing. TICAAAL TICAAAL


If Doom was on the Atari 2600…

Posted in Funny with tags , , on February 22, 2012 by mickgirk

… It would probably suck.

I remember seeing this when I was a wee lad in a video game magazine. Back when people still read magazines about video games. I thought it was funny then, and I STILL THINK IT’S FUNNY. It would be a terrible game, but if I saw it at Play-N-Trade I’d probably buy it. Just because. I guess I wonder if the bare minimum of beepy sounds could reproduce the already-MIDI version of Pantera’s “Walk,” as found in the super-sweet original game (NOTE: I always thought “A New Level” was in the game, but according to a cursory YouTube search, apparently not.)  And by the way, I associate awesome memories of eating all of friend’s junk food and sort of realizing that all I wanted out of life was to bang that one girl in my English class with this game. If you don’t, we must not have grown up in the same era.

This is what it looked like in 1993:

And this is what it would have looked like in 1983:

Rad, right? Well, I think it’s cool. Even if it’s an old joke. I didn’t have a blog in 1999.


New Odd Future single, video – Rella

Posted in watching videos on the internet is fun with tags , , on February 21, 2012 by mickgirk

So this is the new video for the Odd Future single Rella. They put it online yesterday. Watch it. NOW.

Ok, so you did that.

Cool video, cool song. Question though, is this going to be when Odd Future switches over from being an underground/internet thing to being a mainstream chart-killing success? Hodgy’s flow is a lot more mianstream friendly, with a lot less imagery that evokes ICP-like ridiculousness. Which is fine, because that shit was stupid anyways. But I suppose this might be the turning point, as the only verse on here that sounds remotely “edgy” (god I hate that word) is Tyler the Creator’s.

Another question: As of now, this video has 306 views on YouTube. Yet it has 9,681 likes. That’s kind of weird. Why would that be?

Anyways, let me know what you think. Or don’t.

– McGirk